I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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