I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
