Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
