No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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