Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
