just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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