don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
