is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
