Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
