what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
