i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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