Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
In other news, I just burned my penis
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
