awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
