I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
