Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
