have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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