New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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