Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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