Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
