everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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