You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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