I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
