Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize