Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
