Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
