ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
