i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
