I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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