Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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