PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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