Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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