my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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