She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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