Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
