Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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