Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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