there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
