so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
