I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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