Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i now understand why vodka
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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