Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
