She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
These tits shall not be calmed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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