Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
