After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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