It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
