Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
