During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
