no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No...this little piggys going to the bar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
