Tell her she can't have a vagina
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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