I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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