Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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