so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
where are my eyebrows?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
