does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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