Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize