my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude. I can hear the air.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
