i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
