it wasn't lemon gatorade
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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