She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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