just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
