she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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