I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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