I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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