god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
