Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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