I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
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